Have determination and a quality purpose

Dr Tae Yun Kim is a martial artist, an author, a speaker and much more.  Here is an excerpt from her book, The Silent Master.

Many times your will is automatically mobilized by some kind of shock. In this case, what you think is the worst thing that could happen to you often turns out to be a powerful force for good. This is where the fourth principle of mental conduct is applied: Have determination and a quality purpose. When something terrible happens to you, use it to form determination and a purpose. You have a choice as to how you will respond in every situation. You alone determine whether an event will have a positive or negative impact, depending on the quality of your response.

Sometimes we have a tendency to become self destructive when we are hurt badly, and we take actions that increase and reinforce the hurt. But you do have another option. Using your awareness, you can examine the circumstances in your environment that contributed to your hurt, and you can take action to change them.